the mock-up.
Shakespeare's got to get paid, son.
Archives
Neither done nor done
Lunch meditation
Would you be so kind as to pass me the hot glue gun?
Blogiversary
Great moments in culinary one-upmanship
And then I took another guilt-laden break to write this blog entry
Dear Keith Lockhart
Great Moments in Athletic Meatheadedness
A list Boston will never, ever be on
The agony...
Read this while having a snack
One "n". Two "ll"s. Not that hard.
This is why I wear corduroys and sneakers to work every day
Wherein we get totally pumped for summer blockbuster season
Liquid lunch
Last call for free books
One photo I am definitely not posting on Facebook
We don't need no stinking nutrition
I am desperately seeking things to distract me from thoughts of the marathon
Why, yes, I do watch things on television that are not Friday Night Lights
Why Boston Tea Stop is a terrible place to study
We just buckled under the weight of all the oppression
Clear eyes! Full hearts! Must graduate!
Friends, Inc.: Statement of Benefits*
Three words: Coolio's. Caprese. Salad.
Despite the tenor of the last few posts I am not actually an alcoholic
Possible mottos for the Drunken Baking Academy*
I'll have my cholesterol sunny-side-up, please
Cheaper than therapy
That pretty much sums it up
We refuse to apologize yet again for our delinquency
Wherein my neglect inadvertently works out
Update
Lowell re-signed (or, what a difference a hyphen can make)
Doesn't quite have the same ring as "El pueblo! Unido! Jamas sera vencido!"
Tuesday's choice
Non-furniture related ramifications of the Red Sox competing in the World Series
Torn between two lovers (baseball edition)
Everyone pitches better when their ex is watching
Where my girls at?
A post-Hell-Weekend chuckle
Ninth inning update
Don't forget about the leg cramps
Totally my new desktop wallpaper
No pastry for you
Donations for gas money encouraged
Addendum
California stars
"To reach the closest Dunkin Donuts, drive east for 95 miles."
On the bright side, at least it doesn't have to share
Zucchini-ice-cream-quiche, anyone?
On the changing of seasons (somewhat prematurely)
The answer is usually Peanut M&M's
A good year for New Hampshire
There's a Smoot joke in there somewhere
Tin foil is the new bubble wrap
Things you could not pay me medium-sized amounts of money to do
The noodle is coming... EVEN CLOSER!
Enough with the pies, already
Set in an Impending Insolvency Crust
Take a long drive with me down California 1
The not-so-latent domestic streak re-emerges
Cheese and sugar forever
And it's not even snowing
Sanitized for Your Protection
Westward ho
Incidentally
So that's what happens when you try to sneak through with unapproved liquids
This entry brought to you by chorizo and chickpea soup
My baked goods bring all the boys to the yard
Reader poll
Machinations and palindromes (a multimedia entry)
(yawn)
Technology rears its ugly head
Hmmmmm.
New media makes me cry
Water chestnuts and jam on wheat?
We've been past the point of help since early April
Avert your eyes
Dedication to one's pants
Monsoon marathon
Oh, the humanity!
"Math is hard!" (the aftermath)
Get one for the leper in your life
One last gasp
Carbs in the form of Smithwick's
I get my own label now? Sweet.
This. Is. Spatah.
The battle of the humorous blog links
Now rush out and stock up on milk and bread
It's March? What now?
Feminism's death rattle
Anti-anti-Valentine's Day
How a post-modernist with an affection for second-person narration might relay the story of my birthday dinner last Tuesday
Admit it, Gov. Patrick -- it's a little funny.
Well, vegetables
have
threatened man for generations.
Until we have world peace, butter will suffice
Wherein we affect nonchalance to hide our crushing football-related depression
Keep Charlie warm
It's all tax code and obits from here on out
Hellfire, damnation, flip-flops
The logical next step appears to be pie
News and notes
Things I learned in 2006
Happy New Year and a contest
Multimedia Thursday
Great Moments in Holiday Gift Giving
Crazy-ass web design: a retrospective
Something terribly interesting has already happened
An up note
suburban warfare
The tagline has never proved more relevant
This entry brought to you by outsourcing
A tip of the hat to hilarity
The subconscious isn't a pretty place
I am thankful for Gore-tex
My favorite part is the logo
Be prepared to waste several minutes of your day
Foliage is overrated
Here would be a good place to write a one-liner in Japanese
Feeling good about Hood
A mostly pointless intellectual exercise
Healey/Federline in '08
A new series that might actually be a series
Come on!
Law and Order: Special Publishing Unit
I'm dressing up as a delinquent blogger
The President has been kidnapped by ninjas.
Come for the lobster; stay for the Kafka
I would have liked to see "New Jackass City"
The week in ridiculous quizzes
Double, double, toil and leg cramps
Not to mention my nemesis
There are no words
Rewarding your indulgence in my general insanity
Who am I kidding?
Pop quiz!
But if McSweeney's did it, you'd say it was funny, right?
Seek coherence elsewhere
If Chili's is the new golf course, Friday's is the new state fair
You seem very positive about that
Just when you think there are no words, you find them
But what do they play after a safety?
I can't believe it's not Vicksburg
Hundreds of dogs, people. She has saved
hundreds
of dogs.
The Greatest
Two thoughts on the passing of Steve Irwin
Only those bold enough to travel through the middle of the board will triumph
Two designs enter. One leaves.
Ben Watson is not afraid of you and he will beat your ass
Serpentes on a Shippe
And I wasn't even wearing the glasses of defeat
We are lazy; hence, we write lists
Gostkowski is my homeboy
Snakes on a pitcher's mound
Run, Karin! Run!
Vocabulary quiz
"This is Mrs. H. She's
gorgeous.
"
Nothing says "futility" like a preseason injury
Speaking of wacky advertising schemes...
"So pick up your homegirl and go see it!"
The Departed
Buddha in disguise
A nervous tic motion of the bed to the left
Assistant class warfare
Fun with felt
The Central Artery as too-easy punchline
Wherein we contemplate our own mortality in a not-at-all profound way
It's the holiest graphite I ever did see
Heat Wave (burning in my heart)
Deblinging himself for the greater good
My worlds collide; hilarity results
I'll stick with the Buddy Holly look, thanks
Bring on the spackle
Crepe fever is sweeping the greater Boston area
A Christian and a Georgian walk into a bar...
Bring back the peach basket
God Save the Queen
If anyone needs me, I'll be selling my plasma
Other things Sir Mix-A-Lot likes
It's transitastic
Bonnaroo photos and forced nonchalance
Remember that 1998 song "Lullaby"? WBOS does.
Dispatch from O'Hare International Airport
For the PhotoShop novice
Just another way of telling Rachael Ray to bite me
Warning! Entry fueled by Turbo Ice
Harvardians graduate: Faculty blames inclement weather on Summers' incompetence
Say what you will about the Metro
Continuing the cycle of abandomnent and apology is no way to run an empire
Summer has officially arrived
The only time TNR will quote The Offspring with such reverence
Sunday night links
Those damn comet fragments, they'll get you every time
Call it anything
Because everything tastes better when you fry it in a stick of butter
Movable Type, 1. Me, 0.
Fresh eggs included in rent
Random alumni roundup
Mud season knows no borders
We're out, building an ark
Great Moments in Questionable Parenting Decisions
The world as sudoku puzzle
The story that made that vein in the middle of Mike Wilbon's forehead pop out
The Evolution of Dance (wherein we hesitantly make our first foray into the world of embedded YouTube videos)
Things you can get with a $250,000 Amazon.com merchandise credit
How Opal Mehta got pulled, got dropped, and inspired a potentially awesome contest
How Opal Mehta got busted, got embarassed, and shut down her Facebook profile
Insert your own obligatory "Riding The Bus With My Sister" joke
Better that we don't go into the nutritional value
Crimsonist?
Lenten wrap-up; or, yet another line on my application for an entry-level position in Hell
Incidentally
Everybody's doing it
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
This will be funny to one, maybe two people reading this page
Number one song after number one song
In case you hadn't noticed
Local public radio that could potentially break your heart
Also, women in Florida are given to big hair
I'd sell my soul for a couple of good powder days
One word: preorder
Of wine, women, song, and textbooks
We have officially ceased to be both funny and interesting
Will blog for ibuprofen
I've made a terrible mistake
I'm about to make a terrible mistake
Somebody told me this was indietastic
Because everything tastes better on a stick
The strongest wills can be broken by a dollop of spicy mustard
Summers to resign; Skip Gates performs boisterous dance of joy
I would have made better time driving back but I was DQ'd for straddling a gate
I must be dreaming
and, herewith, the promised embarassment
That entry that I deleted, then salvaged, because upon further reflection it's kind of funny in its own twisted way
The international incident that spawned a thousand low-level one-liners
We're all happier when I stick to the funny
Cover up, Oscar. You look like the window of a butcher shop.
Great Moments in Armchair Olympic Commentary
The obligatory pre-snowstorm entry
Cough, hack
Looking forward to another year of general ambiguity
It's the almost-real thing
Like I need another reason to watch The Amazing Race
About damn time
A weird and a wonderful show
Introducing legitimate excuses for general malaise
Suggested alternatives to running with the bulls
Less-than-smart routes
Why not? Because you're neither Desperate nor a Housewife.
More than just a Manning face
Wherein we foist the responsibility of providing the funny on others
Also, I have officially joined the "Shut up, Dan Shaughnessy" club
Another plus: elevator grease won't show up on black robes
This will be our year
And blessed are the pizza deliverymen, for they shall dole slices out to the deserving among us
The Celtics and the Bruins are reasons 1,412 and 1,413
Great moments in inadvertently funny birth announcements
Perhaps it's time to think about paying your writers
And don't get me started on Sudoku
The author pre-emptively begs for your forgiveness for the upcoming dearth of the funny
We're out, skidding on I-70
I'm not from Revere (and don't you dare imply otherwise)
Not even YOU, Bostonist, can ruin this spectacularly good mood
Powder in the mountains, ice on the road
Help me destroy the office Yankee Swap
"You don't have to be mad to work here -- in fact, we ask you to complete a medical questionnaire to ensure that you are not."
All this, and daikon radish!
If I saw you in a Starbucks I might have to shake your hand
Somebody please tell me to stop making lists and start studying for my exam
"He is a golden god!"
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to toss another phone into Lake Champlain
Perhaps I edited Cosmo in another life and reincarnation really is a bitch
The sticky saga continues
Everyday heroes
"Where'd you go for lunch, Bob?" "Oh, you know, just... down the street."
The dude abides
The jury is still out on keyboardists
Let us apologize in advance for the absurdly cryptic nature of the following post, which is designed in such a fashion that even the subjects will remain blissfully ignorant of the havoc they have wreaked
There haven't been this many breasts in the news since the Clinton era
A little piece of Sweden in Stoughton
No shirt no pacifier no service
Just when you thought originality was dead
Great Moments in Mother-Daughter Relations
Why you gotta be hatin' on Mark Bellhorn?
Seriously? Seriously?!
I shot my ex in Reno just to watch him die
Funniest ethnic stereotyping since My Big Fat Greek Wedding
Total Choice Hosting, you are a cruel mistress
I'm having a graphical day
All that was missing was that catchy Gorillaz tune
Pardon the interruption
Reason #173 to move back to Colorado
Current events are lost on me
Walk a mile in a crazy person's powder clogs
Now, I ain't sayin' she's a golddigger, but I found this book on her nightstand and it made me question my initial assessment
Thoughts on the bye week
Now your cookies will look spectacular
This entry is far too athletic for its own good
Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya.
Possible explanations as to why the temperature in my office is 84 degrees
Ah, yes, but do Breck women have girl crushes?
"Back in my day, we wore suits to the office! And everyone was forcibly chained to their chairs until they made their quarterly numbers!"
I'm feeling somewhat vindictive today
The Mattingly curse lives on
December comes early
Mmmm... soggy soy crisps.
The Emerald Neckace is paved with good intentions
When good copy editors go bad
Referral logs are the new black
But Thanksgiving, delicious.
I would venture to say that your assumption is correct
I haven't eaten this well since Labor Day
No one else will find this as funny as I do, but so be it
If there's no stress, it's not September in Boston
These boots are made for moderate to strenuous walkin' in three-season conditions
Breakfast of champions
As if the sailboats on the MFA lawn weren't enough
Think pink
In defense of lies (and the lying liars who tell them)
Red line zen
Must I always be waiting, waiting on I-93
Yeah, that was needlessly melodramatic
If each state could produce some chutney and crackers, we'd be set
So busy
We desperately need some education
We will confuse the nominee with our dazzling displays of jazz hands
Bostonist is suddenly looking better
At least I'm never bored
Higher education showdown
Good, better, best
When good spellcheckers go bad
Even if you were allowed to wear steel-toed boots?
Paranoia makes my day that much more interesting
The Overextension Tour
Beer and more beer is a more plausible combination
The Sharper Image reaffirms my faith in humanity
Great moments in miscommunication
Koch the fever
Being stupidly petty
An international incident just waiting to happen
Ich bin ein Magnet
It's eggs. It's frisbee. It's cheap champagne and orange juice. What's not to like?
Money talks, and Monday-morning quarterbacking walks
So what exactly constitutes "outrageously expensive"?
Don't call it a comeback
Two amusing things
On hiatus
Funnier than The Aristocrats, in any event
A new innovation in bicycle security
Brought to you by more Guinness, and more whiskey
The "snap out of it" school of thought
This is potentially a horrible idea
The Channel 7 News team kicks off the day right
Great moments in Instant Messaging
Been down so long it looks like up to me
Sunday summit
Don't mess with octopi
Or if you know someone willing to walk on my back, that'd be great
The Aristocrats
Modern love
The great, if foggy, outdoors
No time for pronouns
The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round (until the tires melt)
I work with crazy people
Virginia is for lovers. Also, rioters.
Come to think of it, I probably should have made sure that the campsite isn't on Deer Island
Fun with site statistics
Fighting the Man, one roll of paper towels at a time
Or maybe I'll just, you know, sleep
Quiet nights of quiet stars
Perhaps I was hired for my mad kung-fu skills
Note to self: decaf
Getting meta on our evening off
Come check out the view from
my
cube, bitch
Okay.
Miracle drug
Stomach vs. sangria vs. feminist film theory: an experiment
We now interrupt this Saturday with a small, controlled freak-out
See, there's this thing called the South Beach Diet...
Historians are still debating whether Shakespeare was a drinker of PBR
No "pahking" jokes, please
Day three of the "Maybe I really
can
function on less than four hours of sleep a night" experiment
In this corner, wearing blue trunks... Winston Thurgood Welshimer IV!
Clarification
No iPod, no ironic t-shirt, no service
My desk just collapsed under an inselberg of manuscript
But isn't a nice rib eye worth a few rounds of chemotherapy?
A window into Bronson's future
Yellow is the new black
It's phonetic, people.
You know what? Screw all y'all. Cool, uncool, all of you. Bite me.
Nuvo, blog!
Awesomely bad album covers
He needs to go back to the cornrows and drop some rhymes, 'cause the '90's covers aren't cutting it
It's a choose-your-own-entendre kind of thing
This is potentially the funniest thing I have ever read
Hmmm... I need an location that looks dirty and crime-ridden...
Continuing its five-year losing streak
Brought to you by Boston.com's summer interns
This is worth coming out of hiatus for
In case you couldn't tell
And you thought Bob Lobel was the only drunk guy on the local news
Maybe the music really DOES come first
Avert your eyes: It's the Red Sox Queer Eye Makeover
And the Yankees are... how many games back, now?
Did you feel that?
Dear Johnny Damon
Justifications for wearing a skirt over jeans
Hello, hello (Hola)
Almost enough to make me listen to Mix 98.5
Get down, get down
The author grows increasingly frustrated with her generation
South Boston: At least it's not Chelsea
Don't tell me you're still drinking beer that's not acrisp
That'll teach him to take a Red Sox hat in vain
Photos of the Walk for Hunger
Wade for Hunger
Send help (or tranquilizers)
You say "alcoholism," I say "carbo loading"
Great Moments in Interoffice E-mail
I tried to cross the desert and my government-issued Hummer just blew a tire
I tried to ford the river and my fucking oxen just died
It's fitting, somehow.
Bravo Mariano
Tomorrow: the much anticipated return of the funny
Only 26.2 miles from Hopkinton to hell
We're about to lose what little rock cred we have
I guess screaming 14-year-olds don't read Craig's List
I can't believe it's not sanctified flesh
Adventures in ITunes tech support, continued
Adventures in ITunes tech support
Also, I think baseball season starts in a few weeks, or something.
Stop the Madness
To all you doubters who didn't pick Vermont
Reasons that Guinness not that good for you after all
Dear Johnny: Cut your hair, don't cut your hair... we just don't care anymore.
Or maybe it was the altitude going to my head
WBOS (and boredom) come through in a big way
Honk if you love trim size
Perhaps they would have accepted "Fark This"
Subtle
Briefly motivated to be a useful resource
No pain, no art
Welcome to Cambridge, bitch
Diary from Banda Aceh
I know the royal We is annoying, but bear with me for a little while. Rather, bear with us.
Just when we think we're having a rough week
Or maybe we just need a hug
Thank you for calling the Corporate Naming Rights Sure Have Devalued Center
The Mock-up is the new Pollstar
11. Instead of asking God to heal Terrell's ankle, should have asked Him for a Super Bowl win
Hey, TO. How's the ankle?
If Tom Brady was a sportswriter, he'd be Will McDonough. He'd be the best writer to ever grace the pages of the Globe and he'd kick Shaughnessy's ass on a regular basis
Summit Up Rule #1: Ascots are funny
We are eagerly awaiting next year's "I only hit you because I love you" bear, which comes with a can of Natty Light and a restraining order
Well, thanks, y'all.
I heart the MBTA
Clearly the dollmakers haven't been to Chicago's suburbs anytime recently
Dresden Dolls vs. Alison Krauss
If I see the words "delicious bass" quoted one more time today...
We heartily endorse drinking on Tuesdays
It's all about the music, man
I thought we agreed that Joan Anderman covers the "white boys with acoustic guitars" beat
Confirmed Bonnaroo acts...
The obligatory post-snowstorm blog entry
The federal government. Using your tax dollars to terrorize children the world over.
Because who doesn't love a home page that gives you a raging headache?
It's a follow-up to their popular "Stalker" bear, which is meant to express the sentiment of how someone might feel about the girl they're unhealthily obsessed with
Dubious non-profits, part one
Not only that, but it's plugged on the front page
The other EA's got a big kick out of this one
"Uh, we got Duff, Duff Light, Duff Dry, Rasberry Duff, Tartar-Control Duff..."
Anything but rampant mold
In case you couldn't tell, I'm still under quarantine
The Modern Drunkard
Even Stuart Scott would be an improvement
Snowy food for thought
Fairway to Heaven
The Exchange
Perks of working for the Man
Okay, we can talk a little baseball
Don't make me talk baseball
And we're BACK
We're out, being blantantly unpatriotic
Just give me what I want and no one gets hurt
We'll show those Ivy League snots who's boss
If an English major can hack your site, that's a problem
New and somewhat improved
I'm really glad I'm not training for a marathon right now
Sorry
Or something about making that bow tie spin
And you think
you're
having a bad day
Someone choke him with his bowtie
I love you, Boston, but I need some space
Duck Boats come through in a big way
He was only off by 14 years
I can't relate -- I'm an Elizbethanist
Curse this
Why not us?
Just once, I'd like a game to end before the T stops running
It's kind of like the Times criticizing the Weekly Dig, isn't it?
Piano pop is inherently soothing. Low-carb granola bars are not.
Ooooh, Bush just said "Left bank"! Sneaky French reference!
I'm going for the easy laughs today
We have officially become pathetic
Still, the "Who the hell are these undecided voters?!" bit is a little played out
Porn with conscience, part II
Porn with conscience, part I
Let's play a game
"Curio Thieves" isn't bad, either
But if you count European ski instructors as diversity, Vail is a multicultural rainbow
Give the man a syndicated column
Big Brother is watching, and he'll wash your mouth out with soap
We're out, breaking in our hiking boots.
Of course I'm not discouraged by the state of my organization. Why do you ask?
I heart Bens
Speaking of kickoffs
Kicking things off strong
This is not our year. Trust me.
More good music
Sunday potluck
Yale may suck, but Nebraska definitely swallows.
It's September? When did it get to be September?
I just blatantly flaunted the "no stuff on the walls" rule and put this up
Oh, did I mention that I have a deadline in a half-an-hour?
At least it's not a frappucino light
Fond farewells
By the way
I guess this means I'll have to retire my velvet Elvis painting
Not even Lord Stanley gets a pass through airport security
Vive le Betamax
Inconsideration for one's fellow man 1, faith in humanity 0
Swifter, faster, shorter
Reunited and it feels so good
I don't get why they're stranded in France.
Those clever Boston Globe interns strike again
"The only time to eat diet food is when you're waiting for the steak to cook."
But I still can't stand "Your Body is a Wonderland."
They should call themselves "Bastardized Mocha."
It's probably a great hangover remedy, too.
Giving a whole new meaning to "Busted Stuff."
He's just trying to make John Kerry jealous
I am totally bringing this to Diesel Cafe next weekend
I have lost all power of coherent thought so this entry will suck a little
Of Mice and Men (and hipsters)
A meditation on the blogosphere (or, how Ben Franklin helped me get Wilco tickets)
I would totally take a bath with Gavin DeGraw, though.
Just because you can play a guitar doesn't mean you can spell.
1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9
Does this mean I don't have to go to Mass this week?
Cue "Twilight Zone" theme music
Insert your joke about TPS reports here.
Still playing catchup
Where I was for the last 10 or so days
Amazon.com's personalized recommendations come through in a big way
I'm back!
We now return you to your regularly scheduled snark
I'm about to embarass myself on so many levels here
Screw this. I'm going back to copy editing.
One more reason to love Ben Kweller
Run, Diana! Run!
I'm confused. But, then again, I live in Cambridge.
Saucy serving wench costumes encouraged
Screw Lollapalooza
It's like "The O.C." Just dirtier.
Bad news for Jeffersons fans. And asthmatics.
What does Howard have to say about this?
She should paint on a yellow jersey for her next Maxim spread
"Copious Amounts of Spit" is not a terrible name for a band
Yeah, I still call it Great Woods. Got a problem?
I blame Mia
Now I can tell my grandchildren I sang backup for
Ben Folds
It comes with a Stuart Scott glossary
Please Police me
A mockery
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